GOT THE DATE!!

I just got my court date--July 14th!! I am so happy that I am shaking. I will leave in 2 weeks! We will be celebrating his first birthday in Moscow and will be home 2 days later to celebrate here! I am just so happy that I will be seeing him soon and no more time will be wasted!

on pins and needles

This had been the longest week of my life and it is only Wednesday morning. I am hoping to hear something today--if my papers arrived yesterday, they were to be submitted to judge today. I am so worried that they didn't make it and then I have to wait another torturous week and miss out on another week of Vladimir's life. That is the hardest part and the part that bothers me the most and that others don't seem to really get--how awful it is to miss out on all the days of your baby's life. People will say that it will happen soon and I want to scream at them! Don't they understand that every day goes by, is another day of his life that I didn't get to experience. Every day he is getting bigger and I am missing out on enjoying his babyhood. I am getting ready to just book a plane ticket and wait it out in Russia b/c there is no sense to my being here until he is home. People have no idea what adoptive parents go through!

Waiting Again

Well, here I am waiting again. My paperwork is on its way to Russia and now I am just waiting to hear about a court date. I am hoping to hear something in the next few weeks. I am ready to go back. It didn't bother me to be back earlier this week b/c I was so busy getting my paperwork done, but now that it is complete and on its way, I just want to hear something and get my date to go back. Now it feels like last week was a long time ago and it feels like a long time since I saw Vladimir.

Last visit at orphanage

The last couple of days have been rough knowing that Thursday's visit was going to be the last. We did see swan lake which was really beautiful, but hard to enjoy since I cried through half of it. I did pull it together b/c I wanted to enjoy the time I had left with him. He definitely recognizes me and smiles when he sees me. They had to take him away for awhile to change his diaper and he cried when they took him. Actually they had him for awhile b/c there was some doubt whether his diaper was really wet. I had to show my soaked pants to prove this was truly the case . When they finally brought him back, I got to feed him--normally something I really love , but a little stressful when you have 3 people helping you to feed him. I was so relieved when he had finished eating and I could just play with him b/c I seemed to be Ok with that. By the time I left, all the muscles in my back were in knots. It is a sad and upsetting as you might think it is to have to leave him in a place you feel is not the ideal. I was fine until they asked me if it was hard to leave. I am a little concerned b/c his legs are so weak. I am hoping that this is just from not getting enough experiences using them, but am going to be concerned until I can get him home and evaluated. This also doesn't help knowing that this will not happen yet. It was a very long and draining day--the ride over was 3 1/2 hours and 4 on the way back b/c of the rain and traffic. I packed as soon as I got back and now am ready to go b/c the sooner I get home, the sooner I get back. I have one more paper to sign ( Michele, warm up your pen) and then one more trip to county clerk and apostille! Once again, pray for a quick court date and the little Vladimir's legs will be fine.

Stressful day at the notary

We had a stressful day at the notary today. First, I didn't know that I had to bring my passport, so we had to go back to the hotel to get. Then I signed on the wrong line, so the form had to be reprinted, so I could sign again. Then the notary realized that I used black ink and it had to be signed in blue, so another form had to be printed. By the time I got out of there, I was shaking and was ready for one of those $2.00 beers. Now it is naptime until Swan Lake. Tomorrow will be my final visit to the orphanage, which makes me a little sick to think about. I did ask if I could stay and volunteer at the orphanage--I told them I was very good at cleaning and taking care of children, but they very nicely said it wasn't allowed, so I will regretfully be coming home until my court date. I did tell them that I did not want Vladimir reaching any more developmental milestones until I get back--no crawling or walking although I said that creeping and sitting up was fine. Just say a prayer that it will be sooner rather than later!

His nickname

I know people are curious about his adorable nickname, but I can't post any identifying info on line. Jeanne--edit your comment! To be honest, I am sort of enjoying that you are all getting a taste of how torturous it can be to wait for something you want. Welcome to the world of adoption! Waiting is name of the game--hence the title. Sort of a play on the story Waiting for Godot! You are continually in the state of waiting for the next thing--first the paperwork to get complete, then the clearances, then to be registered in region, then a referral, then to travel, then for a court date, then for the 10 day wait to end--and finally if you make it through that, you get your child and the waiting will all be worth it.

Second Visit

We got back several hours ago from the second visit. I am physically and emotionally exhausted when I get back and cannot post anything for a couple of hours. It is really hard to describe in a short post what happens during the visits and how I feel. Partly b/c the visits are more stressful than I had anticipated. I was told as we drove into the town today that we would be picking up the local minister of education to observe the visit as she would be appearing in court to represent Vladimir's interest. Even though everyone has been so nice and the visits have gone well, it is not relaxing knowing you are being observed. As it turned out, the minister could not make it today, so that will happen on the next visit.

Vladimir definitely seemed less scared although he had just woken up when I arrived so was quiet. We took him outside and walked around a bit and then brought him inside back to the room we were in yesterday. He seemed to remember the toys and would look back to where they are.

I will say that I do think he is REALLY smart. I was showing him the pictures on the side of a train and then showed him the pictures on the other side, and he turned the train back over to look at the pictures on the first side. He really concentrates on everything that he is looking at and seems to have quite a good memory. I told them that his concentration is better than half my students in high school--which they thought was funny.

He is very interested in my face and loves to put his fingers in my mouth and grab my hair. Today he noticed my necklace, and was playing with the buttons on my shirt and my watch. (see what I mean GC'ers--far more observant than most of our students). It was so cute b/c I was making sounds and he would watch me and imitate!

As nice as the visit is, the whole experience feels bittersweet b/c I cannot help but feel sad for what he has not had and that he has to go without for several more weeks. Even though he is getting good care, it is not the same as having a parent. We will not be going to the orphanage tomorrow b/c there are papers that I have to sign here, but will go back on Thursday for the final visit. That may be a little heartwrenching, I am sure. I just wish that I could take him with me on Thursday.

Tomorrow we will be going to see Swan Lake with several families. We have met some really nice people here. Each morning I see Jean-Claude from Switzerland who is here on business. There are two other Wyoming families here adopting, so we are all getting together tomorrow to share pictures. We have had great meals here--the restaurants are really nice and of course, you can always just go right outside the hotel for a cold beer and shish kebab! Hope all is well and can't wait to show everyone the pictures and videos. Oh--and he has the cutest little nickname that everyone calls him! Sue--tell Niko he won't have to share his name with anyone. His nickname is totally different!!

Here it is . . . The first meeting . . .

It is 10:10 and we just got in from dinner. Didn't get back from the orphanage until probably 8:30--it was an unbelievable day. First we went to the minister of education. It was very emotional b/c she ask if you have seen pictures of the child and if you can see him as part of your family. Then she asks you to tell about yourself and your family. She also tells me that in Russia today is the day of the child, and that is a very good omen that I will be meeting him on this day. Then she tells me that he is very lucky to have me as a mother and that I am giving him something he doesn't have which is a mother and that she is very grateful. She also says that she can see my father is a very kind man and he is luck to have a grandfather. She also tells us that my father looks very American but I could pass as Ukranian and my look is considered very beautiful here. I then asked her if I might then be able to also find a husband here--she laughed and said that she couldn't promise that,but in Russia anything is possible! I was pleased that the meeting went well and everyone is so nice!

After a three hour car ride,we finally arrived at the orphanage. We went into a room to wait for the director to come in. They were cleaning up from the celebration they had for the children's defense day and the interpreter was going to take me to the bathroom when I turn around and Vladimir was there. It is hard to describe what it is like to see him, but all I can remember was that the room was silent. He looked shell shocked and they said that he had never been in that room before and he was definitely aware of all the strangers around him. You could see he was tense b/c he kept his hands clenched in a fist. It is a little stressful b/c you don't want to scare him, but they are encouraging you to take him. They also told me that he loves music and different sounds. It took him a little bit of time, but he finally warmed up and really was interested in all the toys. When he was concentrating on something, he would suck in his cheeks. I finally got him to smile when I kissed him, which was so cute. Then my father was making these noises and he was laughing a little. When I sat down to speak to the doctor, he was grabbing my hair and putting his fingers in my mouth. He loved the frog blanket I brought him and would put it in his mouth whenever I gave it to him. He knows his name and definitely responds to Russian.

We put him on the floor with several toys in front of him and he pulled himself to the stuffed bear singing Russian songs. He is very healthy and alert and very cute--I am also so happy b/c he still looks very much like a baby. He really enjoyed all the toys and would concentrate on something and then look up at me and then all around at everyone talking.

Then all of a sudden someone shows up and takes him away. It is all a bit surreal and then you realize that you have a three hour car ride home. It was a great day and I am so happy that he seems so happy, alert, and responsive. I can't wait to go back tomorrow and see how he is. We may even be able to take him outside, which would be great.

More tomorrow. Cindy