on pins and needles

This had been the longest week of my life and it is only Wednesday morning. I am hoping to hear something today--if my papers arrived yesterday, they were to be submitted to judge today. I am so worried that they didn't make it and then I have to wait another torturous week and miss out on another week of Vladimir's life. That is the hardest part and the part that bothers me the most and that others don't seem to really get--how awful it is to miss out on all the days of your baby's life. People will say that it will happen soon and I want to scream at them! Don't they understand that every day goes by, is another day of his life that I didn't get to experience. Every day he is getting bigger and I am missing out on enjoying his babyhood. I am getting ready to just book a plane ticket and wait it out in Russia b/c there is no sense to my being here until he is home. People have no idea what adoptive parents go through!